Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Don't Me Be The Judge My

Well folks. It's time we took some stands on E.D.'s without consulting each other.
Here's my first attempt at this.

Billy Ripken.

Oh man. This guy is definitely going to heaven's nursery. God probably feels bad for him. I mean his brother was awesome city. His mom and dad probably kinda hated him. He got tricked by some teammates into taking his baseball card pic with THIS bat. His name was Billy. This guy will bring tears to heaven.

Christian Laettner

Hell! Oh man, he tried to trick everyone with that name but no fuckin' way man.

Ty Cobb

His destiny is sealed inside a dragon's belly. This is a pretty weird dude so he gets a weird destiny.

Manute Bol

HEAVEN BOUND! The part of heaven where you get to eat at Baskin Robbins everyday with anyone you want and all flavors are real.

Kurt Rambis

Well, this is a tough one. He came to McCracken camp one summer and my dad got me his autograph but I never saw him so it's kind of a legend. The goggles might have saved his soul however it could be the hair too. All I know is that he will spend the rest of his existence at K-Mart/Little Ceasars.

Reggie Theus

This guy. Raise your hand if you watched this show. My best friend in high school watched this every Saturday and I hated it sooooo bad. It was like the worst idea. Right after Inside Stuff I think that way I had to watch at least a little of it. He frickin' played for an NBA team now he's a high school coach and the best player is a girl? Also what the hell is with that vest?
Anyway, I'm up for anything for his destiny. Maybe purg?

Michael Chang

This guy is the easiest heaven call so far. Sports Spectrum, All Star Bible, Fun to watch. He's in. Hard.

Bill Laimbeer

In a handbasket on Elliott's bike in place of E.T. will he be riding into hell. Hot on the heels and he'll probably like it. How did Detroit fans even like him?

This guy is in hell also.


Ryan 1 said...

I must part ways with you on the soccer player giving the other soccer player the up and under going to hell. The supreme joy that this photo has brought to so many people, including children with terminal diseases means that both of these guys are going to heaven by default. Otherwise I totally agree. Especially about Christian Leightner.

Ryan 1 said...

Sorry about that spelling. Also total agreement on Bill Lambeer.